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Who Is Donald Trump?

Dave Weigel refutes Donald Trump's Birther arguments:

One of the reasons Trump has doubts about Obama's citizenship is that he's never seen a photo of the young Obama or heard from people who knew him. Except there are school records and photos of the young Obama all over the internet. This is the kind of thing that's easy to prove, if you are more interested in proving it than in protecting your bias.
Later, he doubts the two 1961 newspaper clippings announcing the birth of Obama, because he's "seen fraud" before -- a rationale that I could use to develop a theory that "Donald Trump" is actually a PCP-addicted gardener, on the run from the Federales for a crime he didn't commit, who kidnapped the real Donald Trump in 2004 and stole his identity.

I think it's pretty naive to assume that the PCP addict who stole Trump's identity didn't commit the crime he's suspected of. We know he's a PCP addict, and we know he's ruthless enough to kidnap Trump and steal his identity. Weigel wants us to believe he's innocent of some other crime that the Feds believe he committed? How naive can you get?